Remember when you told me before that you wanted to watch Paper Towns? And then I waved you off and told you that I am not really into that kind of movies. Well, tonight I finally watched it. I guess I got intrigued.
After watching the movie, I realized I was right – I am not really into this kind of movies. At least, not the present me.
Okay, so maybe I was not really intrigued. Maybe I am just missing you. Maybe the reason why I watched it is that I wanted to experience the emotions you would feel while watching the movie. Yeah, that’s probably it. Because in most parts of the movie, I was thinking of you. I imagined how you would react to every funny part, or how you would casually point out how hot Cara Delevingne is, or how you would probably point out that this is more interesting than the other movie, and then you would exhale a subtle “omigosh” when you learn than I haven’t watched The Fault in Our Stars yet (“You don’t know John Green??!” – Yes, I already did some googling).
Anyway, I wanted to tell you a lot of things. I wanted to ask you a question. And I wanted to apologize to you. But I guess those will all be paper conversations now. Unless you would count those drunk-texts I sent last New Year.
But for what it’s worth, I’m happy you’re drifting away now. I mean, not happy, happy. If I can have it my way, I’d want you close. But I know I am toxic. And you would be happier if you would just drift away. Someday, when we all go back to the cosmos, you might just see and understand why I was how I was. Or maybe not. Perhaps by then you would not give a fuck.
But yeah, just keep on drifting. Don’t look back. I will be fine. I will also drift away soon.