Life I realized is like a sinusoidal wave of good and bad times – and I imagine the next crest or trough to be larger than its predecessor.

Uhmm… What I mean with that is the amplitude of the waves are increasing over time. Do I make any more sense? Haha

Anyway, right now, at this very moment, I am in one of those ‘bad times’. And I’m not even sure if I am nearing the trough yet, God have mercy. I hate to admit this but the surmounting problems are already getting the better of me. They all are overwhelming that I just wanted to stop.

Stop moving. Stop making decisions. Stop fighting back.

I am not sure if I have written it here in this blog before but there are three situations I hated the most. First, is what I call a ‘dead-end’. Second is a ‘cliff’. And the last one is a ‘quicksand’. I hate it when I kept on running into dead-ends because sometimes encountering a cold solid wall wherever you turn simply sucks out all the hope in you. But with every dead-end you encounter you just need to turn around and find another way, because somewhere in that labyrinth sits the right turn.

The easiest of the three would have to be cliffs – you cannot move back but you needed to move forward to get away. The trick here is to muster all the ounce of confidence you have in your body and just JUMP. Take a leap of faith. I swear I have done this a lot of times in my life, just take that courageous leap and then deal with the fear of the unknown as I fall. So far, no jagged rocks at the bottom has killed me so I guess my method pretty much works.

The last type is what I consider the most dangerous. Quicksands! The more you move, or struggle, the MORE you sink. Lovely.

I am still baffled as to how to deal with life’s quicksands. But there’s one method I know that would always work. You need someone else out there to throw you a stick and pull you out of that hell-hole. This seemed easy but ladies and gentlemen, never forget how difficult it is to mutter the four-letter word H-E-L-P.

I am not sure if this predicament I am in now is a dead-end, a cliff, or a quicksand. But what I am entirely sure is that I badly need help. And I don’t know whether it’s pride or shame, but I am currently fighting this little devil so that I could finally shout the four-letter word. Wish me some luck here, dear reader.

And I also wish that I hit the trough soon. I want to curb myself back towards the next crest.

It's the perfect time to write and drink.

It’s the perfect time to write and drink.


P.S. To my dearest crowd Xan, Tope, Ate Charm, AJ, Lucky, and most of all TJ… thank you for last night. I badly needed to momentarily take my mind off my sad sad predicament. You don’t know how much it means to me to be able to laugh that hard again.


About lonewulf

I am a self-confessed 'jologs', a country boy who now works in the big city. I studied Applied Math, and am now completing Finance while working as a risk analyst. I feel extremely happy whenever I dance, draw/sketch, and write. I also like to read books, eat (not fruits, or vegetables), sleep, and travel. Update (12/2017) - I have already completed my Finance Masters in Diliman, plus Financial Engineering in Korea. I came back to Manila just last year from the Land of the Morning Calm, and is now currently working as a Risk Manager for a multinational financial institution. I am now updating this information box in the hopes that I will get my groove back into writing. I kinda missed it. And I actually have tons and tons of adventures that I have not logged in here. Hope to catch up to what's happening in my life. Here's to hoping for more adventures, and having enough time and energy to share all of them in this online realm. Cheers!


  1. AJ

    Hang in there.
    Always, things will work out for the best. Please please don’t hesitate to call out if you need us.

    • Thanks Heyjay! I know. Whenever I recall that moment when I was filling out my UPCAT form, I would always feel happy that I chose Elbi as my first choice. I was oblivious that while writing Elbi, I was also writing my fate of meeting such wonderful people like you guys.

      Ten years down the road, we’re still running to each other whether to celebrate or to cry. Just like a real family. Thank you guys for being the siblings that I didn’t have.

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